THE SNÖWKIN REGISTRY

Abigail always leaves extra sugar in Santa’s cocoa. She's the #1 reason St. Nick...

Allison insists she’s allergic to glitter, which would be a tragedy for an elf....

Once staged a performance of The Wizard of Oz using only toy nutcrackers. The...

Belladonna Collects icicles and sharpens them “just in case.” She’s only had to...

Bramble “The Blitzen” Coldtoe loves two things: body checks and hot cocoa.

Dreams of visiting every chimney in the world.

The Commodore insists on saluting every candy cane he passes. The ones that...

Crispin’s not against Christmas, he’s just tired of it. The music, the glitter,...

Dray can deflect a puck with any part of his body, including his beard, which is...

El once built a ladder to the rafters just to hang a single peppermint. When...

Complains loudly about “these newfangled toy trends.”

Got banned from toy duty after carving something obscene into a jack-in-the-box.

Frank once carved a perfect cube, then lost it. He says that’s how you know it...

Gregory was once caught skinny-dipping in the hot cocoa vat. Every sip leaves...

He keeps a tally of how many nails he’s dropped this year. The number’s...

Keeps threatening to unionize the elves over cookie rations.

Jack is a lumberjack-turned-forward. He still smells faintly of cedar and hums...

Junia treats splinters as tiny souvenirs of passion.

Lila brews peppermint tea strong enough to strip paint.

Lydia is endlessly curious about how frost forms on windowpanes, often sketching...

Stores gumdrops in tiny glass jars like treasures.

Miri is known for her dramatic “gingerbread unveilings,” She pulls the cloth from...

Shovels snow with what can best be described as "chaotic enthusiasm".

Patrols cookie jars to prevent “unlawful snacking.”

Ozzy hums to the empty hollows of trees, collecting echoes of laughter that no...

Petra keeps a notebook of noises made by different kinds of sandpaper.

Pip Janglemoor swears Santa once winked at him and said, “Someday, kid.” That was...

Plump swears cocoa must be stirred with candy canes. Jack Frost save you if he...

Rowan treats every tree with reverence, tapping the trunk and whispering thanks...

They called him a dreamer when he welded sleigh runners to a Harley frame. Blitz...

Tarin is calm and analytical, rumored to hear the “song of the ice.” Her passes...

Theo is well known for his brutal slapshot that once cracked a frozen pond. The...

Got banned from the candy cane factory for “sampling.”

Torin insists productivity improves 12% when someone is whistling. He once...

Twinkle hums to the empty hollows of trees,
collecting echoes of laughter that no...

Victor claims to be the "tallest elf in all the land" which is objectively not...

Draws blueprints for imaginary sleigh upgrades but never shows them to anyone...

Agatha spends her nights in the candlelit corners of the toyshop, scribbling out...

Constantly loses his tools but swears the reindeer are stealing them. They are....

Barnaby claims he invented wrapping paper, but everyone knows that can’t be true....

Keeps ice cubes in his pockets year-round.

Bran Keller is a stoic defenseman who communicates entirely through nods and the...

Invented a nog-fueled sleigh but Big Reindeer made sure Santa never learned of it.

Cookie is known for inventing marshmallow-and-pickle sandwiches. He's also known...

Dax doesn’t blink during penalties. Not once. Referees get nervous.

Brags that he once arm-wrestled Santa after too much cider.

Eleanor bakes cookies shaped like tiny stars, and insists they sparkle more if...

Wears gowns made of ribbons and never lifts a finger to work.

Figby ranks reindeer gallops from “bouncy” to “graceful.”

Gordon is responsible for firewood sizing. Measures in “cocoa mugs” rather than...

Hank invented a system for alphabetizing Christmas cheer. It failed...

Dreams of inventing a marshmallow catapult.

Ivy put herself through trade school selling candles door-to-door in a village...

Jolly writes horror stories featuring gingerbread men. The ending is always the...

Crowned himself “Royal Keeper of Cocoa.”

Much like in forestry, every few decades Lionel has to do a controlled burn of...

Smokes candy cane cigars behind the barn.

Mer keeps a notebook of splinter locations, indexed by regret.

Known for spiking the eggnog at every holiday party.

Norrin keeps his chisels in alphabetical order by temperament.

Collects bells and attaches them to everything she owns.

No one works with Pam J. They just try to keep up. She once decorated all nine...

Petronella keeps a notebook titled If Santa Sneezes, filled with contingency...

Pip keeps a snow globe of the shop and updates the inside every year.

Experiments with cocoa recipes late at night.

Rufus loves the quiet between candle flickers. He claims each pause is a doorway...

Sir Bumblespark addresses everyone as “m’lady” and ends every sentence with...

Claims he can hear candy canes grow if it's quiet enough.

Theresa claims she’s allergic to singing, but every time caroling starts, she...

Tink once tried to teach a snowman to rollerskate but he ended up wearing the...

Tumble believes stockings are just “indoor buckets.” The truth he's never...

Darnell insists every elf needs a “signature grunt” when lifting heavy things....

Vincent is in charge of lantern lighting during the solstice parade. He swears...

Built an elaborate clock that chimes every time Santa sneezes.

She swears she once froze a cup of cocoa by glaring at it.

Beatrice has a collection of scarves she’s knitted over the years, each patterned...

Bram rewinds his measuring tape slowly, “so it doesn’t get dizzy.”

Brumble runs an annual candy cane tasting session but he's very frugal so he only...

Claire brings her lunch to work everyday in a stocking her grandmother gave her....

Cricket keeps losing her socks to what she calls “laundry gremlins.” Technically...

Doodle once tried to juggle pinecones while standing on a squirrel, and claims he...

Duncan is a bit absent-minded. Still, no one ties a bow as neatly as he does, and...

He keeps a jar labeled “useful someday.” It’s half sawdust, half certainty.

He auditioned to be the town crier but got stage fright and just whispered the...

Once tried to juggle candy canes and snowballs at the same time. It...did not end...

G makes tea so strong it could varnish a table. It's also significantly cheaper...

Hazel met the elves while fixing a frozen sawmill. Now she wields a stick built...

Checks every cookie tray for chocolate to chip ratio.

Gambles gumdrops with the reindeer when the stablehands aren’t looking.

Jory testdrives sleds by riding them off the roof into snowbanks. She has kept a...

Lance keeps a notebook of compliments he wishes his chisels would give him. He...

Liora measures wind speed by how far the sawdust drifts. She once spent an...

Marcus introduces himself as “a barrister of elfin law,” though there’s no such...

He stores unused screws in teacups because he claims they rest better in...

Myrtle lights a candle for every idea she forgets. Her workshop is perpetually...

Oberon claims he never wanted to be Santa’s understudy, but he keeps volunteering...

Oscar runs a lucrative black-market trading ring for scratch and dent wrapping...

Pepper is the proud owner of the North Pole’s squeakiest boots.

Piney keeps a ledger of every scrap of wood reused in new projects because...

Pipra once tried attaching a lantern to her sled for night races, whereupon she...

Quincy tries to impress everyone with card tricks, but they always fail halfway...

Samuel built a wooden rocking horse named Maplestride so sturdy it’s been passed...

Built a sled for a squirrel. The test run was brief but emotionally successful.

No one can match Terrapin’s patience. He once waited six hours for a cookie to...

Boasts he can juggle hammers safely. He's half right.

Tobias once invented a sled powered by peppermint steam, and though it crashed...

Twiglan is known for weaving candycane tape onto her stick by hand before every...

Keeps a flask of “liquid courage” in his toy chest. It's pink lemonade.

Warren polishes his shoes with sawdust. He calls it “reclaimed shine.” It...